


Omegaverse Limericks

by afterandalasia, arya_sheppard, Assassin_J, CheyanneChika, Irina, Kitsune_Scribe, lextenou, spacegandalf, Stilienski



Category: Original Work, omegaverse - Fandom
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Crack, Humor, Limericks, Male Pregnancy, Omega Verse, Quill Ink Books Ltd v. ABCD Graphics and Design Inc.; D/B/A Blushing Books Publishing (2019), Sexual Humor, Wranglers Are Not Adult Supervision
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-18 14:58:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18122615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afterandalasia/pseuds/afterandalasia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/arya_sheppard/pseuds/arya_sheppard, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assassin_J/pseuds/Assassin_J, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheyanneChika/pseuds/CheyanneChika, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irina/pseuds/Irina, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsune_Scribe/pseuds/Kitsune_Scribe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lextenou/pseuds/lextenou, https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegandalf/pseuds/spacegandalf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stilienski/pseuds/Stilienski
Summary: There once were some wranglers in chat,Who heard of an A/B/O spat.It seemed quite the timeTo flex out their rhymesAnd get all their limericks down pat.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ...we've been watching this Addison Cain thing with some delight, to be honest.
> 
> wrangler 1: is it just me or this tag ought to be one word? https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Omega_Verse  
> wrangler 2: That's for A/B/O poetry!
> 
> (Now joined by non-wrangling OTW volunteers!)

There once was an alpha from London  
Whose omega rendered him undone.  
For those bonded sets  
Do tend to forget  
That publicly mating is frowned on.


	2. Chapter 2

An omega boy from New York  
Found that his back passage did fork.  
He tried double knots  
But it helped not a jot;  
He gave up and just used a cork.


	3. Chapter 3

An author with name Cain allotted,  
With omegaverse was besotted,  
She tried to lay claim  
But took legal blame  
When the judge responded with, "Get knotted!"


	4. Chapter 4

An omega boy got his first knot  
Such pain and such pleasure it wrought  
The alpha looked down  
At his knot with a frown  
And the boy said, “Hurry, you thot”


	5. Chapter 5

There once was an alpha from Kansas  
whose cock was as long as three handses  
He drove the O's wild  
and gave each one a child  
Did I mention he never wore pantses?


	6. Chapter 6

One omega dame from Vermonty  
Her strong pheromones would taunty  
All the alphas around;  
They sure wanted to pound,  
But she was mated to Emily Brontë


	7. Chapter 7

A certain book author named Cain  
Caused the legal system much pain  
Claimed to own A/B/O  
When it def wasn't so  
We all look on her with disdain!


	8. Chapter 8

A legal writ of omegaverse  
Did cause the lawyers to curse  
They explained to a judge  
Who now holds a grudge  
For A/B/O’s explanation is worse


	9. Chapter 9

There's a potion that's made from alfalfa  
That makes anyone smell like an alpha  
You can use this faux scent  
As a decent defence  
And then scrub it off with a loofa!


	10. Chapter 10

Once out of sight of old school  
An author said "this'll be cool!"  
Away then she ran,  
Copyrighting her plan  
'Til she learned, defeat comes, you fool


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Latin:  
> Subpoena (requirement) to produce evidence  
> Do not speak ill of the dead

J2, knotting, vast rivers of come  
Require subpoena duces tecum  
For the judge we do mourn,  
Evidence stacked - it's all porn  
De mortuis nil nisi bonum


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Submitted by an anonymous wrangler.

There was once an Alpha from Albany  
Who pleased all the Omegas quite audibly  
He kissed and he sucked  
He knotted and fucked  
They all agreed he performed quite laudably


	13. Chapter 13

A nonbin'ry Beta from Austin  
Took a wintertime trip up to Boston  
Had a sensual rumble  
With an Omega ensemble  
The wedding for ten sure did cost 'em!


	14. Chapter 14

A flurry of wranglers did write  
Of omegaverse, drama and plight  
Of scenting and knots  
Court cases and plots  
To everyone else’s delight!


	15. Chapter 15

An omega who smells rather tasty  
Must make their commute somewhat hasty.  
Best stay home during heat,  
Unless you want to meet  
An alpha who won't think too chastely.


	16. Chapter 16

An Alpha was stressed about mating,  
his Omega was already dilating.  
He lifted his skirt,  
said "Its not gonna hurt,  
my asshole is self-lubricating."


	17. Chapter 17

There once was an author quite mean  
Claimed she invented a knot on a peen  
Filled her books with het-nonsense  
Said other writers committed an offense  
And she tried this in twenty gay-teen.


	18. Chapter 18

A female alpha's knotted cock  
Might give fandom newbies a shock.  
But it isn't the strangest  
Of bodily changes -  
And hey, till you've tried it, don't knock.


	19. Chapter 19

There once was a beta from Sarna  
Who didn't understand all this drama  
When heat comes around  
He goes underground  
And watches TV in pyjamas


	20. Chapter 20

There once was an a/b/o primer  
Which assisted many a first timer  
To write omegaverse fic  
Using one simple trick  
The assholes lubricate like a vagina


	21. Chapter 21

Why is omegaverse dogs  
Why not write fic about frogs  
Or perhaps about ducks  
Using spirals to fuck  
They also have really weird rods


	22. Chapter 22

The claim to invent this trope caught  
All of our interest and thought  
Ae pointed at all  
The fics that enthrall  
With het ships engaged in a knot


	23. Chapter 23

An alpha walks into a bar  
His dignity left in his car  
Such a big knot  
Still he could not  
Open his omega’s jar


	24. Chapter 24

There once was an omega girl  
Who liked to dance and to twirl  
The alphas all thought  
Of her on their knot  
She’d love to give each a whirl


	25. Chapter 25

A doctor in Wales cast a look  
Confirmed that the last breeding took  
Alpha pale as can be  
Not one, two, but three  
Babies inside, he was shook   



	26. Chapter 26

The dick was a large one for sure  
She desperately needed that cure  
A dick and a knot  
Few times or a lot  
The heat would be fucked out of her


	27. Chapter 27

Planned Parenthood of A/B/O-verse  
Wants no-one to rape or to coerce;  
Giving off a heat-scent  
Doesn't equal consent!  
This holds true for top, bottom, and vers!

_alternate version:_

Something everybody should know  
Whether you are A, B, or O:  
Before getting down  
Make sure that they're down!  
Or else down to the jailhouse you'll go.


	28. Chapter 28

Some Alphas when looking at porn  
May start to have thoughts in a storm  
"Alphas can be soft too!  
We don't live just to screw!  
But it's getting me hot- I'm so torn."


	29. Chapter 29

There are aspects some may find grating  
In an omegaverse fic full of mating  
If you find it's your squick  
You can always back click  
There's no need to go around hating


	30. Chapter 30

An omega dude in Manhattan  
Was thrilled when he started to fatten.  
His beloved wife  
Had planted new life  
That made him crave ice cream au gratin.  



	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content notice: recreational marijuana

An Alpha in Washington State  
Thinks that legalized weed is just great  
When he starts to feel rutty  
He lights up a puffy  
And can work through it without a mate  



	32. Chapter 32

An Omega in Colorado  
Showed he had a great deal of bravado  
He had four babies breech  
Weighing nine-plus pounds each  
And delivered them all naturado.  



End file.
